Sculpture By The Sea

The author's writing style is slightly casual, yet very informative. This piece acts almost as a spunky newspaper article. It made me interesting in seeing the place for myself, and the stunning examples of some of the art that you can see there definitely helped. The quote adds a very nice touch to the piece, hinting toward the origins of the "art exhibit."

However, the article did seem a bit too biased for me at times. It was slightly too opinionated and frankly a bit rude in regard to Time Out, a very legitimate travel blog. He seems to really acknowledge or delve into the potential negative aspects of people's opinions or his own, saying things like the art could be second-rate, though he attests that it isn't, as we can see by the pictures.

However, he redeems himself by appealing to audience members like me who feel as though they cannot understand modern art (which seems more like the case for him as well).

The language is very straightfoward, nicely written and easy to read. Although I think that the length is too short and the author could have covered more art if he had maybe been more of an expert in the field (though he very well might be, and I could have just gotten the wrong impression).

The ending is nice. It is short, sweet, and tries to convince the reader that this place is worth the visit. But like I said, I think it's far too short.

Thoughts?

Spirited Away in Kyoto

ARTICLE

I thought this article was great especially because of its brevity.  I feel as if it provided a beautiful snapshot of Kyoto that was descriptive in what it wanted to show but did not go into too much detail, leaving the reader wanting to know more about the place.  I liked the beginning where she said the confusing city made her feel like weeping, which I think signals to her stress and confusion as well as foreshadowing the intense connection she then starts to feel with the place.

I liked her snapshot descriptions of Kyoto that she said felt like a dream in her jet-lagged state.  It definitely gave me that feeling as I read it.

I do think that I would have appreciated  more about why Japan was her secret home because that idea was very quickly introduced and then the piece was over. More about Japan would be interesting, too, but that would change the piece a lot and I did so enjoy how short and precise it was.

Veracruz Variety

click me for the article!

Cuisine seems to be a reoccurring theme in some of the pieces we workshop in this class, so I tried to find some examples of them on National Geographic, and this is what I came up with.

First off, let’s talk about diction, because this author’s word choice is particularly spot on, visible even from the opening. Word pairs like “sultry climate” and the inclusion of Spanish phrases help tie the piece together. This piece also does a good job of marrying history and culture/cuisine. This sentence: “Since its founding by the conquistador, Hernán Cortés, in 1519, Veracruz has been Mexico’s main eastern port and a major gastronomic crossroads” is a perfect example of how to get slightly-obvious history across without being redundant or irrelevant. Some “foodie facts” add to this food-tinged history: “The local Totonac people were the first to cure vanilla beans for culinary use.”

The simple way in which the author describes lists of food is also effective, rather than going into detail on the thickness of the salsa, etc, the author is more interested in translating Mexican/Spanish dishes to English equivalents: “Sample tamales wrapped in banana leaves, fried tortitas made from plantain dough filled with black beans, or thick corn tortillas, called picaditas” or “toro — a milkshake laced with the local aguardiente, a potent sugarcane liquor.

Upon first reading, I found the textual voice a bit disturbed by the introduction of bullet points, but I see the use. Describing these fruits in windy paragraphs would make them less interesting and less direct. Even the descriptions of these “exotic” fruits resonates well with my tastebuds: “pink or orange flesh of the mamey has a sweet pumpkin-like flavor. Try it fresh, with a little lime juice squeezed over it.”

The last two paragraphs register as irrelevant to me...I get the impression that they had to be included, regardless of relevance to the article.

Who’s the Owner of the Döner Kebab?

Who’s the Owner of the Döner Kebab?

I started my search for a travel article by looking for one about Mannheim, Germany. Mannheim is the city I've spent the most travel time at, naturally, visiting, but I haven't really sat down and written a travel piece about it. After scoring the interwebs, it became obvious that I should write a travel piece about it because there isn't anything good out there. Anyways, by the end of the search, I was hungry. For this. And this article came up. 

First off, if you haven't tried a Döner and have an inclination to eat meat (or even not, Lisa gets one with seasoned cheese and tofu) you must. 

Anyways, this article. Yeah. 

At first, I was thinking this was going to be a travel article about Berlin, but it quickly transforms into an article about the Turkish population. This is an interesting topic, especially since she was traveling from Instanbul, Turkey. The German Turks are a significant minority group and including the conversation with Stephen where he says he wants to learn to "communicate with them." 

Whereas this is an interesting premise and she has a lot to say about  German-Turkish history, it's lacking certain aspects:

• She talked about the train rides and how awful they were, which I felt like she could've left out and skipped to meeting people on the trains. It distracted from the story. 
• I also feel like she could've put more location into the piece. Expanding more about Berlin or at least her travels in Instanbul could've added the imagery needed. 
• She needed to blend the history and the food a bit more (the imagery could help). 
• The paragraphs throughout the piece come off as a little disconnected.

Eat it up, guys. 

In Market Heaven in Mexico

In Market Heaven in Mexico

I really liked how the author of this article brought you into the scene with her descriptions. She opens with an array of descriptions that introduces the area and the sights around her before letting the reader in on the location, so they have a full sense of the market without predetermined judgements. She uses excellent verbs to describe the feeling one gets during sensory overload in a foreign place - "The aroma of charring meat besieged our noses," for instance - and these help the piece move along at a good pace without getting bogged down in overly lengthy strings of adjectives.

She also had a very snappy way of arranging sentences. A really fun piece of humor (and a linguistically interesting sentence) was the part where she was describing the nonsensical layout of the market - "Need a new tap fitting? Head past the cellphones, turn left at the dusters, right at the kid’s toys and they’re beside the cosmetics." This added a nice lightness to the piece, and made the reader feel as if they were meandering around the market, getting lost with the author. The phrases the author uses are quick and punchy, and make the piece seem young and fresh. She includes a barrage of images, but in this context, they work to add to her point about the apparent randomness of the market.

I think the author missed an opportunity to expand upon the history of the market. As it stands, it is a piece about the impression it made upon her that day, but it would seem that it is a long-standing tradition in Mexico. Whether it be in the beginning after she introduces the market, or during the parts about traditional crafts or food, she had a lot of chances to delve deeper into the past to place one of the markets or their wares into a historical context. I also thought the ending seemed a bit rushed and random.

A Roll in the Hay in Northern Italy

I thought this article was most interesting in its approach. It covered such a small, specific experience, but managed to introduce the reader to aspects of northern Italian culture. It begins by setting the scene of the writer in a very ambiguous situation. She gives precise description but keeps the reader wondering what's going on until the third paragraph. You can tell that she did her research on the practice of hay bathing; she tells us the history of it in South Tyrol, the ingredients, and the government regulation.
She also uses the attendant to incorporate some history of the area's culture by mentioning her German accent and connection to Austria in the past. I thought that her method of touching on all this information was very well done; she always prefaces or follows factual information with its direct connection to her experience, so the facts don't weigh the piece down.
Part of what kept the piece interesting and moving forward was the writer's voice. She kept her tone light and humorous, like her skeptical comments on the g-string and that "this is what it must feel like to be a teabag." Her language and descriptions were very precise. Every word added to the piece.
I felt like one place where she had the opportunity to expand the piece and tell us more about northern Italy was the moment where she mentioned the scratch she got from a hike earlier. If she had wanted to, she could have included information about the hike and the story behind the scratch, and it would have given the reader a broader view of South Tyrol. However, I think that the reason the piece works so well is because she focuses on this single unique experience. Telling a story about her hike would have diverted the reader from the experience of the hay bath and I think it would have bogged down the tone and the voice of the piece.
So I think the success of this piece lies in the author's quick, precise description of this unique experience in northern Italy.

Jumping to Conclusions

http://travel.nationalgeographic.com/travel/traveler-magazine/unbound/victoria-falls/

This article starts off with both an interesting title and an engaging first paragraph.  Matson is able to place himself at the Zambezi River by making a game out of all the Z places.  This introduces the sense of humor and tone he is going to be using throughout the piece.  I think he also captures the feeling of watching this man jump off the waterfalls in a manner that most people can relate too.  "Jumping to the conclusion" that he is just trying to get a better view, when he jumps; and then he leaves the reader hanging, just like that man was hanging between (what the author thought was) life and death.

I thought it was interesting how Matson used two time periods in his piece.  One to introduce the Devil's Pool and the other for him to experience the Devil's Pool himself.  And even through the piece takes place in the span of five years, Matson keeps himself focused on his topic the lunacy and otherworldliness of this pool.

The only thing this piece left me wishing for was more of a local's perspective.  He has the one man say that some people die while swimming in the pool and that he wouldn't do it, but do other locals swim here or is it just a tourist attraction?

Matson ended the piece with himself becoming the crazy guy that is jumping, bringing the piece full circle.  And the juxtaposition of heaven and the Devil's Pool in the last paragraph was a great way to end the piece.

Overall, I was interested in the story that Matson was trying to tell and I think he succeed in creating a very full, short travel piece.